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I dont like my friends anymore. I feel like a smug jerk for saying it, but I feel like ive outgrown them. All they want to do is get fucked up and party and im pretty over it. Looking back I was never really into it, but felt I needed to because thats what people our age did. Id get all anxious and irritated leading up to it, then get drunk or high and end up having a good time and feel guilty for wanting to not go. Then the next day have one hell of a hangover or recount the stories of what we dont remember and laugh it off.
Now though, its happening less and less. We're getting older (mid 20s) so its starting to take its tole. The crowds that are doing this are getting younger and we'e becoming the older burnouts, the hangovers are longer lasting and we're really toeing the line with pushing it. A little weed or some beer is ok, even some hallucinogens, but theyre moving on to doing acid regularly. One of them was taken away in an ambulance and put in the hospital went he tripped to hard and become belligerent. I wasnt there for it but heard about it the next day. They were freaked out for all of a week and now laugh about it. Now they are moving on to coke and bragging to me about it. I feel like such an old hen when I say we shouldnt, but they do it anyway and brag about it later. I dont want to be around that shit, I want to start the adult portion of my life and be done with that shit.
But they are my oldest friends and I dont have anyone else. If I stop seeing them then id have nobody and I dont know how to make new friends anymore. Im not looking forward to the summer
