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Life is meaningless. Nothing matters. For some, this is fine, as they are able to find fullfilment through things such as hobbies, a social life, a family, academics, sports, a partner etc.
But I want none of those. Interacting with people is mentally draining. I have had friends before but have always just preferred my own company.
I can barely get out of bed most days. If I do somehow make it out, its just go play some games on my laptop. I don't even enjoy the games, but at least they provide an escape from this lackluster reality and pass the time.
This time of the year is always awful for me. Christmas + birthday + new year = realisation that yet another year has passed with no change. Nobody will come to magically save me. I will not 'wake up' one day and learn that this life was all just a sad, painful dream. This is all real. I would have killed myself years ago but i cannot even begin to imagine the pain that would cause my mother. She would blame it on herself, although there is nothing she could have done.
On top of all this, the World is evidently going to shit. Good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people.
I did not sign up for life. Euthanasia should be respected and not frowned upon. This is not fair. I just want it all to end.
If you made it this far into my rant, thank you for reading.
