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I have never felt more powerless and useless. I have not been able to find a decent job for the last 7 months, because, fuck me if I don't want to commute 2.5 hrs a day or work for far less than my education or experience is worth. Furthermore, my grandmother is dying, slowly and painfully, and there is nothing I can do about it. Alzheimer's is the worst thing imaginable. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. Anons, if there is anyone in your life that you care about, hang on to them. Let them know how much you care, because a time may come where you may not even remember who they are, or even who you are.
I guess this is gonna turn into a bitch post. Whatever, fuck it. I don't even care anymore. When you watch your loved ones die, that's one thing. You expect it; everyone passes on eventually, you even prepare for it in some fashion. But death, in some cases, is a mercy; there is a mercy in the swift death of organ failure or death in one's sleep. Death from dementia or Alzheimer's has no such kindness, you suffer until the very end.
I was fortunate enough to have learned German, my grandfather's native tongue. Days before he died, it was the only language he could speak, and even then only at a child's level. Dementia/Alzheimers is genetic; not only did I have to stand by my grandfather's side as he died, I will have to so for my father as well, until it is my turn to whither away into nothingness.
Hug your loved ones anons, you never know when you will you get another chance.
