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Where the fuck do I start.
I live somewhere I hate. I have the money and such to move but I'm such a bitch that I wouldn't even think about it. I've had to move back to my parents 3 times now due to me having a fear of being alone. If I'm alone for too long, I get depressed and suicidal. First time I tried Od'ing, second time I decided to cut off a friendship, third time I just missed my family.
Secondly, I'm in a relationship I know will end after she goes to college. I really like who I am with, borderline love, but I am trying to be distant because I know I don't want to follow her to where she is going to college due to hating where I live, this whole state. I really care for her and this is my second serious relationship. I'm really going to miss her.
I'm about to start traveling for the sole purpose of seeing where I want to live that isn't where I am right now. Japan, Portland, and New York are the choices. I don't even know what I would do job wise because all I've ever done is Retail Management and Front Desk work at a fancy Resort... I could never do retail again, missing Holidays made me super depressed too.
I'm conflicted.
