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I have been coping with serious trust issues for a long time. I'm socially competent and liked by a lot of people. However, my secretive, distrustful, almost paranoid nature has prevented me from forming any strong relationships. My best friend and I have almost nothing in common and rarely hang out. When we do, we engage in superficial activities and discussion. Even posting this is really difficult. I can't help wondering if someone who knows me will see this and figure out it's me.
The thing is, I'm honestly content with my life. I have faith and strong convictions, a good job, a good home, and I'm intelligent and healthy. Sure, I'd like to get married, maybe have a couple of kids, but I'm fine without it too. I just recognize that I could be getting more out of life, while still being my usual happy, easygoing self.
I just wish I could open up to people more. So often I just want to lean on someone and let them know about all the things I'm thinking. I pray a lot and I know that should be enough, but part of me still wants that human connection.