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I'm suck in New York city right now with a fiancée that wants to live here forever. I live in a 9x12 foot room every day, either at my desk or in bed, and all I can think about is my time back in Indiana. I love nature, I love hiking, being alone in the wilderness, being away from people, but as it stands now, our downstairs neighbors blast music all the time, even 4am, there are either fireworks or gunshots every night, police sirens, people honking and screaming right outside, the air is stagnant and smelly since we cant really leave our room, and barely any sunlight ever reaches us. I go out maybe once every three weeks for an hour to get groceries, or run a small errand, but even when I'm outside there's always a person or a noise or a smell that's assaulting me. I feel so alone in these feelings because my Fiancée doesn't feel the same way at all. I wish I could be with someone who understands and appreciates the beauty of solitude in nature, and who can be emotional with me, but its been so cold for years now. Because of certain circumstances, I can't really leave either. I feel trapped and all I want to do is drop everything in my life and live alone in a cabin outside of a small town.
