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I was pretty miserable from about 17-22; those years seemed to stretch on for so much longer. I had crippling depression and anxiety issues, no self-esteem, no confidence, no self-worth, no plans or goals for my future because everything seemed beyond my potential, I was losing all my childhood friends due to hiding away, I botched many romantic opportunities and god knows what else. Things just seemed bleak and confusing. No job prospects due to the anxiety, no education due to dropping out of university 3 times, gaining nothing but debt from my time there (again, anxiety). What the fuck did I have going for me? I was so convinced that nothing could possibly change. As much as I couldn’t see what the future had in store for me because I was so lost, at the same time I could clearly see it playing out in my mind every day and it was always a miserable mess of loneliness, eventually resulting in becoming an hero when things became too much to handle.
I can’t say exactly what started the change as there were a number of different events and factors that kicked off seemingly out of nowhere and began to pick up momentum. It led to getting a girlfriend, which led to moving out of my parents house, which led to learning to drive and getting my first car, which led to getting my first real job, which led to buying our first house, which led to getting engaged, then getting married. I still can’t quite believe that I am living this life that I thought could never be possible for me.
What I want to say to other anons in a similar position to how I was back then is to hold on, cause you never know what might change for you and turn your life around completely. It may seem so utterly hopeless right now, but life is not as predictable as you think. If you think you know what the future has in store for you, you are wrong.
