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I graduated high school a couple years ago.
Moved into an okay apartment with my gf, got a good job, and that was that. I kept in touch with my parents - they lived 10 minutes away - and hung out with my friends on the weekends.
They're all college kids who have fulfilling times and promising futures. Meanwhile most of my time was working on my critically failing YouTube channel and downloading vaporwave. I ate microwaved meals or fast food. I did laundry once every couple weeks.
I built up closer friendships, but otherwise was completely stagnant. My less-wholesome friends would constantly joke about me being a depressed loser who peaked in high school but it eventually started feeling true. I was stagnant, I wasn't going anywhere. I was constantly neurotic and emotional. I just didn't know where I was going and it hurt. For a whole year.
Eventually something clicked. With emotional support from my mom, I I broke up with my gf - relationship was only encouraging stagnation - moved into a new place with help from my parents, and calmed down.
Then my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. That was about 9-10 months ago. And my dad, and my aunt, and my best friend would constantly visit her, care for her, make sure she was comfortable and feeling okay. Things were somber.
Last month, she passed away. She was more than a mom, she was kind of a guardian angel. But it's because of her, and her guidance, that I'm okay right now. I know that, no matter what, things are going to work themselves out. I'm in no hurry to get to where I'm going, because I know that I'll get there when I get there. I miss her like hell, all the time, but she's in a better place, and I'm carrying her legacy forward with me.
I have nothing but hope for the future. I strive to do good in everything, for her. Life is truly precious. Have a good night, guys.
(pic is there because it's a sunrise, and there will always be a sunrise worth sticking around for. it's so calming and reassuring)
