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I'm going back to college soon after a few years on hiatus. I just hope my financial aid will be enough to cover the costs of living, let alone books. The only way out is through that fucking degree and the certs that come with it. If I need to, I know that I can fall back on my parents, but then I would have to sacrifice the only person that I can talk to and my dog. If I want to be independent of my parents, I have to rely on my girlfriend, who will be getting financial aid as well. She's an epileptic, and she's spent the last 3 days barely able to form coherent sentences. I just can't fuck up, but so much is relying on her. She's already proving that it is a mistake, but there's not much more I can do at this point. I'm either going to be successful this time around, or I'm going to an hero. Every day is closer to ending it. Just the thought of working at a job that pays slightly more than minimum just for the sake of that extra dollar is going to drive me to kill myself. I would have an A++ at least by now if I could afford the damn test. I can't keep working at places where I can barely make rent and pay for food every month. My job is so unfulfilling. It's just a roulette wheel. Will my next call be someone that will spend 30 minutes telling me I'm worthless or will it be a pointless email to the "engineers" that will just tell me that they're working on it and don't have a timeline? There's worse jobs out there, but I have trouble thinking of what they might be. It's going to be a stack of cards. This is about to be my hail mary.
