>>6940055Not like anyone cares but I'm gonna vent some more I don't really have anyone to talk to about this shit.
Dude's psychologically and emotionally abusive. We didn't discuss the possibility of us until a month or so ago. Before that we were just work friends, smoked weed a few times after work and would get lunch once a week or whatever. Dude knew this and picked me out as a threat. Went through her phone, blocked all avenues of contact with me without her knowing. Found out one day because the work phones were down and I was trying to call her phone to get an address for a delivery.
Dudes cheated on her in the past too, which makes me think he still does if he goes through her phone and doesn't trust her to not be cheating w/ coworkers. I still don't consider it cheating, what we do. We've cuddled once, and she felt so bad about it she left. Otherwise we just hang out. Get lunch, smoke, go for hikes, go to museums, just sit and talk. We do all the shit with each other that 99% of the world, or maybe just people here, find lame. Sometimes I wonder if she's just using me to fill an emotional void in her heart that her boyfriend doesn't touch anymore, but whatever. I have to at least try, to say I tried, to know the truth, to know if I really have found someone unlike any girl I've ever met.
And I understand if I have a girl who cares about me she'll do this shit with me even if she doesn't like it, but the fact that this girl and I share so much in common is amazing to me. I've never had that in my life and I just wanna hold onto it so bad. Fuck this gay earth.
