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I genuinely despise this society.
Everything that actually makes life worth living, it tramples on and covers in asphalt.
Comfort and pleasure, these are their only values. Comfort and pleasure. But how hollow they are!
But how hard it is to escape their trap.
Especially when you're a socially inept loner with no real family, let alone any bigger sense of community.
Every day I push myself, make my way through the dreadful bureaucracy which surrounds most of my life, for what?
I'm not a nihilist. I had a phase like that which I overcame. I pushed myself, and now it seems I've failed.