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I'm not motivated to do anything except play videogames. I even stopped drawing because I feel like no matter how many drawings I do, I will never be good and even if I would, it would be for naught. My dream was to become an animator at studios like Pixar or Dreamworks but there's almost no opportunities for these kind of jobs in my country, so I just went into economics even though I'm not even interested.
When I go outside, I have to drink alcohol or else I can't socialize even with my closest/best friends. The morning after I feel terrible because I forgot half of what I did, yet I know that I probably made an idiot out of me just so I can make others laugh. I feel like a disgrace to my family and I'm so sorry that they have to put up with me as a brother/son/cousin.
