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My ex girlfriend 2 months ago (we were dating at the time) accused me of rape while on vacation and it caused the police and everyone to get involved. Now theres an investigation going on for me yet she doesnt want to press charges or continue with it. We had just moved in together.. When we got home from vacation her father took her to file a VPO against me and it effectively got me kicked out of my own lease and i cannot speak to her. Ive been trying to join the military for the last couple months now I cant even do that because of an investigation. Im blocked by her and I cannot legally speak to her or see her.
She had a dissasociate identity disorder episode which pushed her into massive mania and made me her worst enemy. I didnt rape her, not even close and theres texts from her of her agreeing with me. Im just so lost where to go. I hate being at my parents. I have nowhere to go. I hate this rollercoaster of a life. It isnt fun or enjoyable I dont see what lessons I am getting out of this. I love her. I love her so much and it breaks my heart to see her so affected by mental illness yet here I am suffering from the fallout and reppucussions of these issues from her. Im so twisted up by this. I keep talking myself out of thinking of ways to end my own life.
Side note because I care for her so much and have done everything for her, pay her bills, do her homework and test for her college, emotionally support her.. etc. I have a habit of checking on her social media. For some reason even though the end of our vacation turned into a fiasco she still feels comfortable posting about our vacation excluding pictures of me. And even going as far to make photos i took of her as her pfp. Idk maybe looking to into it. I need sleep but im always tired. Ive never felt this disconnected and lethargic. Love you guys desu. Its the only place i can vent. but i dont think i'll last too much longer.