>>6606150Now that we live in the same city we start to hang out a lot again. 2-3 times a week kind of deal. We still hit it off really well, and yeah, not much to really say. She asked me if we could go on a week long road trip cause she knows I love roadtrips and she's never really had one (she likes flying places). She wanted me to come with her to New York for a really cool even she got to do (she got to sing in CARNEGIE HALL!) but because of my house and unforseen repairs and bills and such i simply couldn't afford to go. Still really bothers me too. Especially how she still looks sad i didn't come. That gets us to now.
Probably seems all good so far right? Well...
She has never let me touch her. And she never talks about her past. I know from the time i've spent with her that she HATES her family, and for good reason as they treat her like absolute shit. If i offer her my hand to hold she looks like shes going to run away. The few times i've put my hand on her shoulder or arm she acts like i've touched her with a cattle brand. Any time I try to talk about her past, she clams up and gets the hugest frightened eyes. She never stays the night, always saying "Why, my bed is in the city, and i can just sleep there?" That trip we took for a week long road trip? She specifically booked two hotel rooms every night.
I'm the only person she talks to with any regularity. She opens up to me, and she trusts me. She shows all the signs of loving me too. She knows I love her, and I have asked her to marry me, but she declined (this was when i was still 3 hours away though, and it was a month later she broke up with me). I'm really willing to be there for her but...
Well, its starting to be really bad for me. Like, I know how much good i do for her life. But what about me? Like. Its selfish, but I'm not made of stone. And now there are things like her job being absolute fucking assholes to her, or her brothers and father just breaking her every so often. (Cont.)
