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I've only truly connected with one person in my life and it's been going on 3 year since I've spoken with her after I gradually broke off our friendship because I was afraid to have it go anywhere past where we were when we were together. I miss her everyday and it never changes. The reason I haven't contacted her again is because I know it could never be the same so I prefer to have our time together stay in the past rather than ruin it in the present. I can't see any way out of this beyond becoming who I was years ago which no longer seems possible.