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I'm having a really hard time lately. My boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up and it's killing me emotionally, I'm still disabled from chronic pain and waiting to see a doctor to find out what's wrong, my dad, while a great person, is the most neurotic person I've ever lived with and his house is spider infested and neglected/dirty plus he barely uses the AC and it's summer in California. I'm 24 and I feel like I've already lost everything in my life. I'm divorced (he was also my best friend for 10 years), I lost all my furniture and possessions, lost my health, lost my friends, my finances aren't doing well because I can't work, my ability to work for my hopes and dreams is on hold...it fucking sucks. The one saving grace here is that I'm hoping I can find what's causing me so much pain now that I have insurance, fix it, then move out of the country for university. I want to be an environmental scientist, I have so many hopes and dreams I don't want to give up on. I want to travel, contribute positively to the world, live a fulfilling and honest life unhindered by fear. I want to walk away from all this thinking "I am free to finally live the life I have always wanted, my loss does not define me". I can dream, right?
