I've got 3 left weeks of college and a mountain of work to get through, barely pushing through with the help of medication and support from friends.
I hope you find your direction; one thing that I'm trying to do to help myself is to internalize a few realizations I keep coming back to. For example, environment can play a huge part in not having direction. Whether you're overwhelmed with school, work, or simply nothingness; there are so many negative thought patterns that are easy to get trapped in due to environmental pressures. It's important not to judge yourself based on the worst version of yourself in regards to mental health.
Also, in my search direction, I've tried looking at activities that I enjoy doing and finding work that I might be able to apply principles of those activities to. For example, I really enjoy video games. Some of the base principles of what I like about them include creative and dynamic problem solving, facilitating team coordination for a common goal, and being challenged to always grow and improve my skillset.
It might also help to find a saving grace, like an art, a hobby, a discipline, etc. that isn't necessarily a work-based purposed but is something that can get you out of bed and keep going. One thing that helped me find a bit more direction was asking myself, "If I had one year left to live, what would I do?" And my immediate answer was write music. I don't care if it's shit, if it's unfinished projects, etc. But at least there'd be something I could leave for people to remember me by, and on my deathbed I could look back knowing that I did... something.
These are just some examples of things you might be able to apply, or maybe for some other random anon who reads through this thread.
I don't know man, life's really hard. Best of luck. Maybe it's naive, but I believe there is always something to live for. I hope you find it.
