Shit's fucked when you lose a meaningful relationship.
Pain is the necessary risk we take when making ourselves vulnerable in order to find that connection.
Hurts like hell but no one owns anyone else or can control them. It helps you grow as you process the pain.
But remember to love yourself first, do not depend on love from others!
I'm in a passionate but rocky relationship of sorts right now, she sent me pic related saying it reminded her of me, which is sad as it shows her negative thoughts that she harbours (the issues are mostly on her end, though I'm certainly not perfect).
You can't control how the heart feels unfortunately, all you can do is keep learning and if you are lucky you will find a relationship where you are BOTH willing and strong enough to work honestly and respectfully at things. I'm starting to understand deeper what that really means. It's hard to do...
This might help if/when you are ready to heal and try again. It's a song that resonates with me and I actually sent to her as a parting gift when we both thought it was over for good...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5OpvDdVtYULyrics snippet:
There will be no years of silence in the shadow of regret
I won’t let it so betray me, though my soul got used to it
I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain
And will give myself completely to the moving and the strange
'Cause I wanna overcome
And try to love someone
I will not spend the years depleted of my willingness to try
It won’t hurt this way forever, it ain’t worth the overtime
I’m not looking for redemption nor some shallow kind of bliss
Lay me down and kiss me deeply, show me everything I missed
I haven’t had enough
And I wanna love someone
I will not hurt like this forever, I’m responding to the call
While there's speakers in the outfield
Blasting out my favourite song
I will not play this out discreetly, it is real and unashamed
I am human now and terrified, but want it all the same
