It’s my 30th birthday today. I’ve had the worst couple of months in my life. I put my entire would be career and life on hold for my partner of 6 years (4 years long distance). We were suppose to move overseas together in December last year and instead she called me up to end the relationship (she couldn’t do it face to face or via video) out of the blue while she moved to said country without me. She truly was a soul partner in every sense of the word and we have spent all this time making sure we would spend the rest of our lives together. We did everything we could together and had the same tastes and love of life in nearly all things. She said it’s not me it’s the situation and has never spoken to me since after she hung up. I had a $6k red ruby engagement ring for her to propose when we got to said country. I don’t feel alive anymore, feel nothing and the zest for my life is gone. I feel like life is no longer real. I went outside last night to look up at the stars in the middle of nowhere on the last night in my 20’s wondering what have I done not to deserve lifelong happiness not only because I had given up everything for someone but I do everything I can to help other people. Deep down I feel like I should kill myself (I just don’t know how I would do it) because failure has consumed me.

What is life worth living for paps....