>>20257133And then there’s the problem with reproduction. These animals are such massive failures that they can’t even complete the basic functions of all living organisms. Female pandas are only in heat ONCE a year for 25 days AT MOST, between March and May. They’re only trying to fuck for 2-7 of those days of which she is only fertile for like 36 hours. So if they miss the window they’re utterly fucked until next year. EXCEPT female pandas only breed once every two years. And because this happens so infrequently, most pandas just forget how to mate. Absolute morons I say.
So you’re thinking “okay well if enough pandas get pregnant then the population should sustain itself.” Wrong. Pandas mate in the spring, but what do they need to survive (and carry a pregnancy)? YOU FUCKING GUESS IT: ARROW BAMBOO LEAVES. Which only sprout in the summer. So IF the pandas make it through the winter, and IF they get to mate in spring, and IF they do it at the right time and IF the female gets pregnant, then she can’t carry the pregnancy until summer.
So basically the sperm freeze in place like a bad game of Green Light Red Light, and wait until summer to fertilize the egg. Effectively pausing the pregnancy until the female starts getting calcium from the arrow leaves.
The US alone has spent billions on these forgotten dirty dishes. And to top it all off, every single panda in the world is owned by China and the Chinese government basically rents them all out.
Extra fuckery: although they eat ONLY bamboo, they have the digestive tracks of carnivores. Pandas also have disproportionately small penises (Jesus Christ why are we even trying anymore). God also gave these walking trash bags of universal matter opposable thumbs, what a waste.
So if after all this you still like pandas, you’re not only stupid, you’re also a communist.
