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I wish I could just go completrly schizoid and stop caring about "real life" altogether. Every time, every fucking time, I put myself out there, it just ends up hurting me. And instead of withdrawing to my fantasies, where I know I can be happy, I keep trying over and over and over and over again, like anything good would ever come out of it.
I am so fucking retarded, it's unbelievable.
