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OP, at the end of the day, the only one really in charge of your life is you.
you want validation?
there's really 2 kinds.
intrinsic and extrinsic.
goes without saying that you're seeking the cheap, transient extrinsic validation.
the validation that you really need is intrinsic. confidence, from KNOWING you're good, trusting in your skill, in the craft you honed.
that, or you can keep pitying yourself for the rest of your life, your choice.