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>Hello, North Park Elementary! This is your number one source of school news, Nancy Iris here to give coverage on this year's Kiss competition, or Kiss-petition so to speak, hosted annually by the girl's club of which I am a proud member.
>I'll be giving regular commentary and updates on the status of each competitor's collected points the get from kissing boys, the points of which you can find on posters throughout the school. And no, you can't get the teachers to take them down because we've already bribed them. Sorry, boys with low point scores!
>But it is true that the boys have had it too good for too long. They've been looking down on us, and what better way to put them in their place and correct their behavior by subduing them into kisses, whether through force or our feminine charms.
>For those who don't know the rules, once the competition commences soon, all girls in school will be viable as competitors. Their job is to see how many cute, or perhaps not so cute boys they can either convince or force into being kissed. In most cases as seen on the chart, a kiss given willingly scores you more points, which insures the cutest girls are more likely to score more points
>Now, the Girl's Club may not like me drawing attention to this, but I am an independent reporter who won't be silenced. But Kelly Michaels told Delly McDougal that she overheard Stacey Richardson and Cassandra talking about how the winner of this competition could influence who gets voted for new head of the Girl's club, challenging Posie's position if she doesn't manage to win herself.
>This is naturally a huge deal as you probably already know, right? This is the first time in 5 years that the kissing competition has been so close to the next club election. This competition could be what decides the future of our club.
>Or if a girl we don't like wins we'll just say she's a whore for kissing so many boys instead, we'll work it out when we get there.