>>1735417as someone who's been exactly where you are now and worse, amphetamines are not the solution. you need to see a psychiatrist. not a psychologist. psychiatrist who can prescribe. I was tired, wouldn't leave the house, lost my job, lost 40 pounds when I was underweight to begin with. barely ate. these are textbook chronic depression. my friend took me to the last resort public psych hospital. got on Lexapro and later Seroquel. I finally feel "with it" for the first time in my life.
I can't diagnose you, but you sound as desperate as I once was.
there is help, there is a way out. don't give up on yourself like I did. the help is real.
meanwhile keep riding. vigorous exercise can help even you out. face the sun for 20 minutes first thing in the morning. powerful (or really close-up) lights work on cloudy days. but these are not enough, they're just helpful things you can do now.
you can be happy. but it takes courage and work to navigate to it. but you can do it.
