>>4008728I read a depiction of a gallery exhibition where everyone is just walking around clucking memorized opinions at each other. Nobody cares about anything other than seeming interesting to other people or gossiping about them. One character in particular tries the same quote repeatedly on different groups and individuals.
It made me sick to think of how similarly I've behaved. More and more I think art culture, consumptive or productive, is about being and having done rather than becoming and doing. Those are the parts I've been exposed to at least. It's depressing. I'm depressed by my own involvement. I try to keep it private instead. Nobody wants to see my pictures and nobody wants to read the books I've read and I often don't want to see theirs or read theirs. So where do I go from here except to remain inconsistently private.
Others will surely insist I'm wrong and that there's more to art than private emotionalism, that there's more to art culture than public brinkmanship. I hope I am.