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I posted this in one of these threads before. Not so much as dark, but more embarrassing as hell.
I can't ride a bike. My parents tried to teach me multiple times when I was in elementary school but it didn't work out, even going as far as buying me another new bike in 5th grade, but it just sat in the garage and made me wish they used that money to buy me a new game. They tried guilt tripping me over it like saying my friends would invite me for bike riding as if they'd have a spare one for me to use, or that we wouldn't be playing vidya instead. It's been 15-20 years later but I'm not interested in learning, not that I ever was.