>>504451041. Shave a black Labrador (IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO THIS FIRST AS YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE FINGERS AFTER THE NEXT STEP)
2. Surgically rearrange your limbs (this is very painful, remember to take at least one benadryl)
3. Cover yourself in crude oil
4. Roll around in the black lab hair that you left lying around in step 1
5. Get someone you trust to spray paint yellow markings on your head and body
Congratulation!
Results may vary batteries not included 
