>>51965083A surprise but a welcome one. I quite enjoyed this one as well. I think you did a good job of capturing Polka's character. She's a very sensitive and conscientious soul but not without her doubt and I think you captured that well with all her second-guessing and guilt. I also think you did a great job of capturing the dynamic of NePoLaBo and I hope we get to see more of them. Another thing (that also applies to A Deal with the Devil) is that I like your use of the Stars. I'm always appreciative of using the whole vtubing buffalo as it were. I like Anon in this as well, he's got this roguish charm to him without being an ass. As always your ability to have the MC bounce off other characters is on point.
In regards to the beginning, I feel that Anon's apathy is communicated decently enough. I think having college ennui makes sense and I've certainly been there before. Stopping yourself before getting too philosophical or nihilistic was the correct call, as I think that runs the risk of becoming annoying. I do feel like Anon's attitude could lead to interesting developments. As someone who was almost hit by a car, I know I was pissed off as all hell, so his being so nonchalant makes me intrigued.
I think it could be especially interesting with Polka later down the line since it seems like she's given him this spark. Or maybe it's the near-death experience? In any case, I'd like to see why he thinks the way he does and how this experience has changed him and continues to change him.
In regards to the ending, I feel somewhat similar to how I did with A Deal with the Devil's second chapter but I like it better here than I did there. With what we know of Polka and even this Anon, it makes more sense. They both seem like passionate people, for better or worse. the build-up to it is done well, with it slowly dialing up until the wire snaps. Them jumping each other's bones could also be a point explored in the next entry, since to me it seems like both of them are desperate for affection. So I think them leaping at each other fits, but I think it depends on how the next entry plays off that.
That's about all I got to say since you said you're going to bring up Polka's desperation/the rebound in the next installment. Hopefully, Anon doesn't get too bent out of shape at any reveals of Polka's past heartbreaks. I'm interested in that plot point. Like I said earlier I think there is some good conflict in the dichotomy between Polka's desperation/rebound and Anon's newfound sense of passion/desperation.
This was very good, especially for something done on a whim. I'm eagerly looking forward to more.
Thank you for the reference by the way. I feel honored.