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I sit down to watch Ame's stream. As I watch her loading screen, I feel nothing. Only the great emptiness in my core as I struggle to make one day meet the next. I grab my doritos, clutching my mountain dew betwixt my sweaty thighs. I open up my mouth and take a bite, before I hear her voice faintly, the screen unchanged.
Then I feel it in my core. I feel him tearing his way out of my heart, like a ravenous beast. He's returned. Ryan Gosling.
Gosling is early today. Usually, it happens when she does something cute. I drop my bag of chips, orange triangles scattering across my trash-strewn carpet. I lean in close to my monitor; I can almost smell her now. With one hand, I try to open up my reaction images folder titled "Vtubers" but it's too late. My hand knows where it's going and it opens up the folder labeled "Gosling" instead. I can feel him now in my extremities, bleeding out through my body. I feel myself changing, gritting my teeth against it. But it's too late.
I'm Goslinging.
