>>59234547I like where it's going. you've got a good fic in the works.
This one needs a bit of grammar work compared to the first one, but that's ok, that can be fixed at any time and they're all minor. There's just one, maybe two issues with it for me personally.
The part that confused me a bit is
>“ All royal members went missing as this tax haven crumbled into ashes, years of civil war followed along with billions of dollars worth of treasury…”This line, I have no idea who's speaking, maybe an indicator here would be good, if it's you as the investigator, start it off with
>I then continued reading the documents: "All royal members [...]If it's her speaking, add in something little like the tone she says it in
>She spoke, her tone a little playful: "All royal members [...]Also the follow-up lines
>“Are you here to accuse me of all that?”>She interrupted with a funny tone while relaxingYou can merge that into one sentence to be clearer on her being the one that is speaking.
>“Are you here to accuse me of all that?” She interrupted, with a funny tone while relaxing on the couch>It was as if I were merely reading a piece of comedic fiction.Other than that, it's an enjoyable read so far and I'm looking forward to more, either the completed version, or more general reviews later.
