>>73055114Considering most of it was raw action, I'm glad the fights were a good read. If this story can work towards improving or inspiring whatever it is you're writing, there's no greater joy for me as a writer.
>>73065429Thanks for reading, I'll admit the whole fight was originally intended to be shorter and might have ended up a bit bloated, but I wanted to give each character enough screentime and this was the result.
Lui did her best.>>73066550Sounds like I hit what I was aiming at. I was worried people wouldn't like the slightly unrealistic fighting but your comment has put me at east, so thanks. I had an anime playing inside my head too. Glad you liked the interactions as well, both HoloX and Anon's old party will be expanded on if I ever get to chapter 2.
>is Anon just Dante in this?Whaaat? Noooo... Dark greatsword and air-combos? What are you talking about?
>I think I would have liked to see some more plotI will admit I found myself wanting some more plot myself during the editing phase, but it seemed like a good stopping point so I decided to save all the emotional character interactions for the eventual next part which, as you read, won't be coming anytime soon. Sorry.
>>73084842There's no way I wasn't going to add KoyoGun. Koyori's going to get Anon to fetch some ingredients for her .45 AKP (Automatic Koyo Pistol) ammunition later on. As for the tonal shift? Yeah, it's probably going to be pretty sudden. There's still going to be some tidbits of action (and I have a grand, flashy finale planned) but the second chapter's going to be calmer and focus more on the characters and their interactions with hypnotised-yet-still-conscious Anon. Dare I utter the term, it might even be a bit like a
slice of life. I figured I wanted to write both so rather than making too separate stories I tried tying them together.
>>73111613Yeah, that won't happen unfortunately, since the girls need to hypnotise you after this. Still though, you've given me an idea for a nightmare Lappy can have later. Thanks for reading!
>>73122237I appreciate the comments. I would have liked to bring out the characters' personalities some more but there's going to be more than enough of that during (the eventual) chapter 2. As for Chloe, I guess I could expand on it later but she basically knew Anon was nigh impossible to kill so she pulled out all the stops. Also she was pissed.
>Giving him short-range teleportation abilities tied to his sword is both good subtle characterisationOhhh... interesting you should bring that up. I'm not sure what you interpreted that as but I added his ability as a metaphor for him being unable to leave behind his glory days and always returning to the adventurer's life (thus moving to/bringing back his sword), a part of his emotions which I planned to expand on later. It was partially inspired by Noct's warp strikes in FFXV, but I had other candidates for his ability and eventually settled on this after forming an idea for his character. This is the first time someone has noticed a metaphor/bit of symbolism in my fics so I'm pretty happy.
