>>71391322It sounds more like you simply realized these girls will be fine with or without your support and the monetary value you're putting into the hobby won't grant you true happiness or enlightenment. This is fine, of course, it's a step of your life you're going through with a hobby that's given you very specific, heavy feelings.
Ultimately at the end of the day, you're the one who developed those feelings about a person or character who won't really give what you're looking for back in return for your dedication. Instead of looking at vtubers and Hololive as an outlet to obtain love, you should first focus on your overall enjoyment of these girls and see if you can withstand watching streams and content without falling in love and getting angry about it. The entertainment value comes first before the feeling of a deep connection with any one streamer.
The first step is realizing how silly this all is and how unobtainable your original goal was. The second step is learning to love yourself and casually enjoying the hobby again. And the final step is to go lift some fucking weights and get over it. Don't listen to the hardcore fans who've also dedicated all that time and money to support their favorite girl, don't listen to the people who make oshi shrines with merchandise, and don't force yourself to be excited for the hobby. You have to take a step back, see what's fun about it, and start all over again.
Seriously, Jesus Christ, just get on the floor and do some push ups holy fuck.
