>>40419037LewdShort but cute. That kind of coy affection really fits Suisei in my opinion. I like that this story is a kind of snapshot of their relationship. Suisei's possessiveness coming out is adorable. I'm a sucker for quiet moments or reminders of affection in the midst of chaos.
Besides some punctuation errors, I think you could have made this a bit longer. Suisei teasing you and showing affection as the both of you interact with other chuubas at the party, all the while you hold hands. I'm not really 100% sold on the sweat part, I feel like that its a bit much. Or that it could have been the "payoff" at the end, as I feel the ending lacks in weight.
I echo
>>40425944 as well. It needs a bit of action and description to bridge some of the dialogs.
