>>59125336Just the usual grammar things. It's just stuff you can improve over time, don't get too caught up in it, but if you want specific examples.
>(You) hold her hand to give a sense of secure and comfortHere it should be "sense of security and comfort."
>while you wiping her sweat with a handkerchief"While you wipe her sweat" would fit better, OR you can say "While you are wiping sweat off of her with a handkerchief"
Both work fine and flow better.
Again it's just some grammar stuff, you will continue to improve every day as you write so it's no big deal, your story was still understandable and enjoyable. Others on this board will give you the usual "lol esl pls practice english" treatment, but you're already doing that and it's a good effort, keep it up!