>>64279759I really do appreciate you taking the time. You're giving me a lot of good advice to work with. Not to insult others but not many people leave reviews on any work I do that's longer than a few sentences and you're good about keeping it a critique and not a criticism (IE you tell me what I can fix, not just "this is bad" or "this needs work")
>If it helps to think about, a goal that I practice myself is to write my characters in a way that someone reading who is not familiar with the chuubaanother great idea I never really considered. As I'm sure you know, I often struggle with the line being keeping them in character while also making them react to the situation they're in in a coherent way, villains especially.
>but at the time I'm not really aware that there is anything to elaborate on / if it will. If she was able to get right back up due to her giftI see what you mean. I'm putting the cart before the horse and assuming the audience has the same foresight I do. I need to clue them in just a bit deeper otherwise it looks less like foreshadowing or plot emergence and more like random occurances.
>For proofreading, you just gotta keep practicing.I will keep trying but of all my deficiencies as an author, I fear that is one of my largest. Won't stop me from practicing of course but yeah lol.
>Again, glad you're taking the feedback in strideI'm appreciative of you giving it to me, especially on one of my most unpopular stories. I've said it before a number of times, but the story has improved greatly due to your feedback. This one will (hopefully at least) be far better that what it will be without. Thanks as always mate.
