>>26651746 (me)>>26644125Okay, I just caught up. I really enjoyed it. I think on a purely objective feedback standpoint, your pieces would benefit from a re-read. Obviously 4chinz fiction doesn't need perfect grammar, far from it, but there's a couple sentences where a word was misplaced or missing and that kind of interrupts the flow of reading while the readers processes it as what you intended. A quick re-read to fix up those minor mistakes would help a lot I think.
I think your work with Pomerlane is a good representation of what someone who idolizes Pomerlane would write about him in-universe, and perhaps you gravitate towards that because a lot of historical texts you might be familiar with (Roman generals loved doing this) did this. In this respect, I think you are successful.
On the other hand, a modern reader can come into media with certain expectations, expectations which this type of story doesn't attempt to meet. After all, some very engaging stories are the ones where the hero's success is in question until the very end, suspense. If you write for historical realism, these two goals can sometimes be at odds with each other, since indeed in IRL battles, decisive, straightforward victories of one side over the other are a perfectly plausible occurrence. This is why novels often gloss over battles where the result is expected, and put more emphasis on fights that result in tension or character development. I don't think there is an easy way to reconcile those two aspects.
Anyway, long story short
this is for sure a propaganda piece, a couple hundred cannons, forming the largest artillery battery in the world? Pffffft the Deadbeat fleets at that time had dozens of ships with over a hundred cannons each come at us Pomerlane we're waiting. I think you're doing really interesting work in this thread, and using this specific style of storytelling sets you apart and adds variety to our body of works. Based on the in-thread response, I think plenty of people enjoy it as well, and I would give no mind to your dedicated nijishitter.
