>>30669919If it makes you feel any better I came to both versions.
I do think version two is better, although I'm not sure why you chose to cut off the entire section about getting her top off, since I didn't think it was problematic before.
The smut was hot and well done. It's nigh impossible to nail down how Suisei (or honestly most Holos) would act in this situation, so the characterization is already going to be an uphill battle nonetheless, and if you wanted to be more in-character, you'd need to write much, much more to justify her actions. So ultimately I think you did a pretty good job.