>>56987464i don't know if this makes any sense but, you know, a lot of little shiorisms remind me a lot of myself in middle school and early highschool. even late highschool kinda, it was still halfway there. it's like... man, the best way i can say it is that until you 'get' social dynamics you're playing the wrong video game. you're like, trying to figure out when to make a joke, you're hoping a joke isn't too mean, you're kinda constantly calculating shit and it's really miserable.
i don't know when it all clicked for me. to be honest i literally just read endless self help books, including PUA shit but also random shit like etiquette books. eventually, weirdly, you realize that the actual game you're playing is just acting like how you feel, and that leads you to relaxing. it's a lot better way to live.
but i also feel weirdly like theres a kind of innocence in the autismflowchart kinda trying to fit in. there's a point before you relax, where you get good at social stuff but it's not really fun. you're good at the video game but you're playing a kinda menacing one. shiori sort of, um... having little silly moments where she seems like a tryhard... i dunno. it's genuinely better than when you're at that really cynical stage. i hope she can relax into it and have fun before she ever gets cynical.
