>>69225874As Solid Snake made his way through the halls of Shadow Moses Island once more, he couldn't help but reflect on the bizarre events that had transpired earlier that day. The talking pears were just one aspect of an increasingly surreal situation; now he found himself relying on their intelligence for vital information about Liquid Snake's plans. It seemed almost comical in retrospect, but then again, so much about this mission already had been strange and unsettling.
He reached the same junction where he had encountered the two groups of enemies earlier, and paused to listen for any signs of movement. This time, however, there was none. The hallways remained eerily silent, as if everyone was holding their breath, waiting for something to happen. With caution, he continued down the left-hand corridor, making his way towards the room filled with sentient fruit.
When he arrived at the door leading into the pear chamber, he hesitated briefly before stepping inside. Once again, the air was thick with the sound of flatulence – even more so than before, due to the presence of many more pears. They all stopped what they were doing when they saw him enter, their eyes fixed on him expectantly. Snake cleared his throat awkwardly and addressed them directly.
"Uh, hi guys. Listen, I need your help again." He quickly summarized his encounter with Liquid Snake and his discovery of the onaholes containing crucial information about the impending nuclear attack. "So, here's the deal: I need to know how to get this stuff back to base camp without being detected by anyone else. Any ideas?"
The pears exchanged glances among themselves, seemingly deep in thought. Finally, one of them raised its hand and spoke up. "Yo, I got somethin' for ya." The others murmured assent, encouraging the speaker to continue. "You see, we got these special powers. We can make ourselves invisible and walk right past people without 'em noticing us."
Snake blinked in surprise. "You mean like camouflage?"
The pear shook its head. "Nah, bro. Invisible shit. Like in the movies or whatever."
This piqued Snake's interest despite himself. If the pears could really become invisible, it would be an incredibly useful tool during stealth missions. However, he also knew better than to trust anything these creatures said at face value. There had to be some catch involved.
"How does that work exactly? And what's the catch?"
Another round of whispering ensued amongst the pears, followed by the original speaker raising its hand once more. "Okay, so here's how it goes: we concentrate real hard, and our bodies start to vibrate really fast. That makes us invisible to human eyes. But while we're vibrating like that, we can't move or talk or nothing."
Snake considered this for a moment. It wasn't perfect, but it could potentially work. He turned to address the group. "All right, let's give it a try. But first, I want each of you to promise me that you won't fart while you're invisible. Deal?"
A chorus of groans met his request, but eventually they all nodded in agreement. Satisfied, Snake handed out the Codec devices to each of the pears and instructed them on how to use them. Then, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what was about to come next.
One by one, the pears entered their trance-like state and became invisible. Snake watched closely as they floated past him, barely visible except for the slightest hint of motion. He counted them off in his head as they disappeared down the hallway, making sure that none of them were left behind. As the last pear rounded the corner and vanished from sight, Snake let out a sigh of relief.
Now came the hard part: retrieving the stolen data from Liquid Snake's safe. With any luck, the plan would go off without a hitch, and they could put an end to Armageddon before it began.
But as always, fate had other plans.
"Pikachu, no! Your anus can't take it!" exclaimed Ash Ketchum.
"Where the hell did you come from?!" asked Solid Snake in bewilderment, startled by the sudden appearance of the 10-year old boy and his 120-pound mouse.
"It's my pet, Pikachu. His butt can't take it, it's not big enough." explained Ash, ignoring the fact that he was standing in the middle of a high-security military facility.
"What are you talking about?" asked Snake, trying to keep his cool.
Just then, Liquid Snake emerged from his private quarters, holding a dildo in one hand and a copy of Mein Kampf in the other. "Ah, good evening, brother," he greeted Snake casually. "I see you've brought friends."
"Fucking A," muttered Snake under his breath. This day just kept getting better and better.
