Which Hololive member has the fattest ass? It seems like a simple question on paper, but it's anything but.
To start, we can most certainly rule out both the lolis and the flatties. Might as well not even bother with IDs, either, since it's physically impossible for a SEAnigger to be stacked.
While Gura, Shion, Haachama, Aqua and even Luna all have their share of cunnyfat to absorb impacts, we're not dealing with relative sizes here.
Likewise. while Ina and Rushia certainly make up for their nonexistent breasts with rotund rears, the competition is fierce.
Yes, that means that Suisei, Kanata, Ayame and even Matsuri have to be ruled out. We can't afford to waste time with the skinny bitches.
Towa & Subaru belong to this group, but they're athletes, along with Polka and Baelz. On a case-by-case basis it's tough to say if an athletic girl is toned or not, but for our purposes it seems like only the duck wins out in this scenario, only to immediately lose once her buff butt is placed up against literally anyone else.
One might think at this point to go with someone like Flare or Sana. Darker complexions are associated with increased ass fat. The problem is that, much like her ears, the elf's legs are pointy. She has no meat below the waist. Similarly, while it would be easy to say the booty Bogan could crush the whole earth between her tan cheeks, she canonically always has her limiters on. Another two duds.
Let's actually get the newbies out of the way too while we're at it.. IRyS is too small and horny to possess a decent ass. Amelia might have the ground pound buff, but similar to Botan's lioness donk, the power behind the ass doesn't matter one bit if there's nothing to hold on to.
You could say the same thing for Nene & Lamy, actually. All the enthusiasm and seductive passion doesn't detract from how you simply don't have a dumptruck.
That doesn't mean the opposite holds water, though. Kronii & Mumei would have no clue how to use their assets effectively. One would awkwardly undulate and the other would be worse than a starfish. That really means that the new guard has Fauna, Kiara and the Nigger of Nippon to rely on.
Before we see how those three stack up with the remaining talents, though, we have to do some clean-up.
Face the facts, people: Sora's washed up, as is Roboco. They might have had the most enticing asses in Hololive back in the day, but out of Gen 1 the only girl with a tried-and-true peach bottom would be Miko. Until she completes her surgery to become a negress, though, we can't rely on her.
Hags are another can of worms which, much to the chagrin of MILF lovers everywhere, actually assists in our search. Aunty Aki is the only one who even has a chance here. Mio's big bushy tail really only exists to distract
from how miserable her flabby ass is, and for how much boob envy Coco inspires... you just know, okay? Ask her for paizuri and it's kino; hotdogging that rear would make you consider becoming an hero. Of course, there's a girl I left out here, but you can just look at pic related for an idea who that might be.
I've left Mel, Noel, Fubuki and Watame to their own category, one that should just be labelled "unsure." Because we really just don't know. That is by no means pointing to one direction or the other, because for each girl there's contention.
Vampires are mysterious, they've always got tricks up their sleeves. Maybe Mel's yab was because of how fucking fat her butt was. We just don't know.
Noel's surrounded by a thick layer of armor. So much so that even the most imposing smack against her rear would tell you nothing. Considering her autism, it's possibly only Flare knows the answer to this important question.
Fubuki is Fubuki. She has the eyes of a madwoman. She could have by far the most obscenely obese ass on this whole list and we'd have no way of knowing.
Then, Sheep. Sheep, sheep, sheep. If her smug aura is anything to go off of, she's packing. Absolutely absurd ass, Watame. But who would be so cruel as to sheer the sheep?
This doesn't mean that the remaining seven girls are the only ones left. If anything, it could be a 10-way brawl for booty supremacy. That's what makes this topic such a sore one. WE JUST. DON'T. KNOW.
Nonetheless, we are left with some terrifying prospects. Two NEETs, a broodsow, a scallywag, a menhera, white trash, and Mother Nature herself.
Korone's marathon streams are being usurped by Pekora. Bunny is built for sex, which is a big buff. The dogbutt would have to go the way of the Architect like Fat Cat to keep her NEET butt firmly...uh, fat.
Fauna and Kiara are polar opposites in personality and diet, but they both pack so much it would make you dizzy. The difference is that one is insane and the other is calm and collected.
Mori is a nigger. Mori is a NIGGER.
Finally, Marine. She's old. She's unreliable. You know what to expect, all the same. I will not write any more, because I've hit the post limit. YOU be the judge.
