>>7189061Don't be sorry. We've all had that moment when we just want to give up. If you really hate who you're right now, use that to your advantage. Look into the mirror every morning and tell that fucker how you're going to change him whether he likes it or not. Every time I step outside of my comfort zone to do something against my unhealthy habits, I can feel that lazy part making excuses, whining, complaining, telling me how I won't be able so I shouldn't even bother to try... I love how that part suffers - kind of masochism I guess.. Let it burn. Once you burn that lazy bastard to the ground, you'll get your phoenix moment when you realize you've became new and better person out of the ashes of your past self.
Psychical destruction of part of self is a long and tiring process. You must perform amount of positive actions equal to amount of those negative ones, which got you where you're right now ("balance of the universe" / tao sort of thing). We both know it'll require lot of effort, hard work and determination. But we both know that if you put your mind to it you can do it.
btw Rage against the reality itself is something that gets me up and keeps me going every morning. Rage against everybody who somehow seems to attain the happiness without any substantial effort. Just to prove these fuckers that I'm going to survive and will go on whether they like it or not (related to the burden mind-set mentioned above).