>>7192145>Part of the problem - my natural self is lazy and selfish slob.IDK your personal life, but unless you were a stereotypical neckbeard NEET, I see no reason for this behavior. If you were actually a NEET like this, perhaps it is that you act in extremes like you are with work and staying ahead. If not that, then there must be a reason for the desire to sacrifice everything to be on top. My friend's that I mentioned is daddy issues. Constantly trying to prove to daddy he's good enough, even though daddy is a piece of shit who fucked everyone over to get on top (I fear that is how my friend will eventually turn out. Complete with a gold-digging whore of a wife as well).
>How do you descend from the polar circle, where do you see the sun but it doesn't provide any warmth.> I'm too afraid what would happen if that part of me would gain more control.You answered it yourself. You're afraid to see what would happen. Why did you even bother continuously pushing yourself this far?
