>>6775263Time will heal your pain, OP. Not because it loses meaning, but because the further you distance yourself from the pain, the more you realize there is outside of your suffering.
I'm still in the process of healing. Was cheated on for a 3rd time in my life, but this time was a real nasty one. She did it multiple times with a mutual friend behind my back, and I only found out accidentally about half a year into the cheating. We were thinking about getting married.
But while time does heal the pain, don't be hard on yourself for feeling it. Putting yourself in a position of vulnerability like that isn't stupid like you may be feeling, it's brave, and it's a necessary part of forming a bond with someone. Don't kick yourself for being strong enough to make yourself necessarily vulnerable, and don't kick yourself for the pain you feel from it now. Assuming this just happened, let yourself go through the pain. Don't fight it, don't analyze it, don't let it influence your actions, just feel it and let it work itself out of your body.
Once the initial hurt has passed, then you can start analyzing and picking up the pieces. But when analyzing, don't bring her to mind at all. You're analyzing your own feelings, your own emotions. You will never be able to understand her intentions or feelings, and you'll only be torturing yourself trying to understand them. Don't just accept 'I hurt because I got cheated on'. Ask yourself exactly which part of the incident hurt the most, and why. This is a very critical time for understanding your own psychological problems, and by going through this careful analysis, you can transform this unexpected destructive event into something productive. You have the power to transform it into something that makes you grow stronger, that helps you mature emotionally. It is, in this sense, a blessing. Be thankful for your ability to come out of this a stronger and better human being than you were before. We'll all be alright my friend.
