>>7895561there’s a disconnect i’ve always had between me and most other people. it’s hard for me to make friends. it’s hard for everybody, i know, but i just don’t relate to most other people i’ve met.
“you’ve gotta get you a girlfriend!”
i’m sure there’s truth to that. i don’t want one. i’m not really interested in sex, either. i’ve had opportunities– i could get one if i wanted to– but i don’t. these are the things people talk about, though. think of forcefully trying to push two same ends of a magnet together; i think most people are like that. i’ve always had to meet people in the middle between my introverted neuroses and what is expected of me as a human being. it’s like i have to lie, just to feel like i’m able to involve myself with others; this disconnects me further, ironically. i wouldn’t call it a mask, per say. more like a uniform. like i’m going to work. i hope i meet someone where it doesn’t feel like work when i’m talking to them.
we all have struggles, we all have disconnect. but somehow, the fact that i’m not alone in this does not make me feel better in the slightest. i wish everyone could be happy for longer. i wish that i could wish them more than that
