>>7866413I feel very much the same. I'm about to turn 28.
I have been suicidal for at least 10 years and despite my circumstances getting much better over this time it did nothing for me and I still feel like shit. I have an okay easy IT job, I have my own house near a forest with a lake in the backyard, I have a wonderful partner that I feel guilty for getting in a relationship with since he is absolutely great and deserves someone less damaged. I have talent and I have potential to earn big money and pursue VR game development in the near future and all of this is still not enough. Young me could only dream about achieving this and here I am and I feel worse then ever. The scary truth is that none of this is what I really want, I don't want to do all of this and I don't want to be here. It's like I have been living through someone else's dreams and aspirations and no matter how further I will go it will not make me happy and life will only get worse. I regret not killing myself before, I should have been long gone.
I just want to go to sleep after a nice day and not wake up again Anon. I hope you get a nice way out too.
