>>76843963/3
I'm pretty sure that if I also had been inside two girls before, I wouldn't care about this, but I just feel pathetic in front of her. And ironically enough, she's the one who feels lesser in front of me because she, from what I've seen, values me a lot and says stuff like "I dread the day that you'll realize how good you are and just dump me for someone better" or "how could you be so cute and so hot at the same time and how could you like me" (she also seems a bit insecure about her weight, she's a tiny bit chubby but I like it) or other stuff where she puts me above herself and I'll stop jerking myself off now but it's weird because I've always felt ugly and pathetic and unlovable and now it's all just so overwhelming.
But all the approval I get from her still doesn't make me feel less insecure and weak for not being able to get any action before her or create a relationship before her and stuff like that. I know I'm a terrible human being for thinking like this and whoever is reading this, you have the total right to judge me for being an incel and viewing women like that as just objects and all the bad stuff. I recognize that these feelings and thoughts are really stupid and it's really retarded of me to expect that a girl has not had sexual relations with other people before, and it's probably too good for my piteous ass that she even cares about trying to make me feel better about it, like she doesn't even have to justify herself and she has every right to not feel bad about having had fun in her past (even though she says she did not enjoy it and it sucked). She does not owe me shit and she could've been with like 5 guys before and in theory it shouldn't matter to me and I have 0 right to be resentful towards her. But I just can't let go of the feeling of inadequacy I have.