>>7385410Jesus Christ this hit me hard. I'm almost in the same boat. I asked her if she wanted to date me around last Christmas. She said yes, but by the time New Year's rolled around she said she couldn't go through with it and that she just didn't see me that way. That she was too excited to really think about it. That I was the best friend she had, but nothing more. Everything she said hurt, but she did her best to say it in a way that wouldn't insult me.
We've known each other for about 2 years now and I'd rather have her as a friend than not at all. So I decided to stick with it. In the middle I thought I was over her. We're better friends now than we ever were, which means I know things about her that are momentarily successful at making her seem unattractive. But I still can't convince myself that she isn't a radiant and beautiful soul.
I trust myself enough to know that I won't put myself between her and her happiness. That I won't let her be uncomfortable and distanced from me. If she wants a friend, I'm determined to show her the best one. If she finds her happiness elsewhere, I'll keep my dignity and her happiness in mind when I decide to stay or leave.
But I just met her two weeks ago when I had to go home from college. Still as beautiful, still as fun and lively, innocent and joyful. And I just don't think I've been able to breathe properly since then.
I'm not going to walk away from her. I still find joy in making her happy. I just wish I didn't dread that it would end when another guy comes around.
