Quoted By:
I lost my job two days ago. I had left my 50-hour-per-week job for this one almost two months ago, with promises that there'd be enough work to keep me working full time, but it turned out to be untrue. It was worth leaving my last job, because it was killing me, more and more quickly as time passed, but this fucking sucks.
I can't get a new job immediately because I went through a court proceeding that means I need to get a new social security card, driver's license, all that shit, so I need that paperwork all processed before I can even start applying anywhere. I don't know how long that will take, and I don't have much money saved.
My depression and anxiety are getting worse. I'm terrified my psychosis is going to come back as bad as it was in my early 20's. I lost my dog last October. I miss my little buddy so much.
I'm not happy. I'm almost 30 and I haven't made anything of my life. I feel like I was thrown a handful of shit and told to play it to success. How was I supposed to do that?
I'm not here to feel sorry for myself. I'm done doing that. But I'm so fucking tired. Every day I wake up and struggle with the desire to end it all. It's all I can think about most of the time. Last time I tried I fucked it up. I can't even kill myself right.