>>6579102You've built up a shield that keeps you from feeling what normal people feel. It's exceedingly painful to let it down. But you are not broken; you're doing what you have to do to survive. The only way I know to solve this is to leave home. You may not be able to right away, but work towards it. The ugly fact is that you cannot make your family understand that they are narrow-minded and abusive. You need to make your own life.