>>8071373Brother, I have been exactly there. Not a sadness, but a pure emotional numbness. Sometimes, I'd get in my car at 1am and drive with the windows down, in January (sub 20 degrees) just to feel something. Sometimes I felt so disconnected from my body and reality that I felt like I was watching my life unfold in real time through a TV screen. It was awful. I had never experienced anything like it before, so I had zero reference. Ultimately, it took a friend to force me to realize I was experiencing a form of depression.
There is no trick or cheat code here: the only way out is through it. By that, I mean setting a large goal which will require significant commitment, discipline, and effort, and then achieving it. For me, it was weightlifting. I had always been a skinny kid, so I decided the goal was to change that. I was 24, working full time, so 6am drives to the gym Mon-Fri it was. I did this for two years, but the weightlifting yanked me out of my depression in a matter of months. I even started seeing positive mental changes within a few weeks. In the end, the exerciser benefits I gained were truly life changing. However, the real gold from it was the mental clarity and confidence you experience from truly earning the reality of becoming a physically and mentally strong young man. I cannot recommend it enough.
If you choose this path of weightlifting, commit to it without fail for no less than 6 weeks, no matter what. Once you get to the 6 week mark, it becomes difficult to stop going. Highly encourage you to stay off any drugs (especially SSRI's) unless you are having serious suicidal thoughts. Supplementing with the right vitamins and minerals are good.
Decide on a large goal you truly want and achieve it no matter what happens. This will push you through the depression and out the other end. It's all in your control to do it, especially because now you know. You owe this to yourself. I am rooting for you.
